{"id":14327,"date":"2025-02-01T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-02-01T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/allonehealth.com\/insights\/?p=14327"},"modified":"2026-01-21T22:59:35","modified_gmt":"2026-01-21T22:59:35","slug":"how-to-use-conflict-to-drive-positive-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/allonehealth.com\/insights\/how-to-use-conflict-to-drive-positive-change\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Use Conflict to Drive Positive Change\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Conflict is a natural part of life, whether in personal relationships, at work, or even within ourselves. But not all conflicts are created equal. Amanda Ripley, journalist and author of <em>High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out<\/em>, distinguishes between two types of conflict: <strong>high conflict<\/strong> and <strong>good conflict<\/strong>. Understanding the difference can transform how we approach disagreements and help us move beyond entrenched positions.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>High Conflict vs. Good Conflict<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In Ripley\u2019s framework, <strong>high conflict<\/strong> is the kind of disagreement that escalates quickly and becomes all-consuming. It involves intense emotions, demonization of the other side, and a sense that there\u2019s no way out. High conflict often traps people in a cycle of escalation, making it hard to think clearly or find common ground.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In contrast, <strong>good conflict<\/strong> is constructive. It\u2019s the kind of disagreement where both sides feel heard, and there\u2019s room for understanding. Good conflict encourages curiosity, problem-solving, and finding solutions that satisfy everyone\u2019s needs without shutting down the other person or resorting to personal attacks.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ripley\u2019s insights show that it\u2019s not about avoiding conflict entirely; it\u2019s about fostering the right kind of conflict\u2014the kind that leads to growth, insight, and stronger relationships.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Managing Conflict: Understanding Over Resolution<\/strong>&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rather than rushing to resolve a conflict immediately, Ripley suggests that a better approach is to focus on understanding the root causes of the disagreement. When considering the \u2018understory\u2019 of any conflict, there are four primary categories: care and concern; respect and recognition; power and control; and stress and overwhelm. For each of these types of conflicts, here are three strategies to help manage conflict in a way that prioritizes understanding:&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"1\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Practice Active Listening<\/strong>: Instead of preparing your counterargument or waiting for your turn to speak, listen to understand. This means acknowledging the other person\u2019s perspective, even if you don\u2019t agree. By validating their feelings or concerns, you create a space for dialogue that is less about winning and more about mutual understanding.\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"2\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Avoid Tripwires<\/strong>: Ripley highlights that certain topics or phrases can act as emotional \u201ctripwires\u201d that immediately escalate a conflict. For example, phrases like \u201cyou always\u201d or \u201cyou never\u201d often trigger defensiveness. By being aware of these tripwires, you can choose more neutral or open-ended language that keeps the conversation productive and reduces the chances of escalating the conflict.\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"3\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Use \u201cLooping\u201d to Reflect and Clarify<\/strong>: One of Ripley\u2019s most effective tools for managing conflict is \u201clooping,\u201d which involves repeating back what the other person is saying in your own words. This technique shows that you are actively listening and gives the other person a chance to correct any misinterpretations. For example, you might say, \u201cIt sounds like you\u2019re saying that you feel overlooked in meetings, is that right?\u201d Looping helps de-escalate emotional tension and fosters a deeper understanding of the other person\u2019s perspective.\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>By focusing on understanding rather than jumping straight to resolution, we can shift from high conflict to good conflict, creating healthier and more productive conversations. The goal isn\u2019t necessarily to \u201cwin\u201d the conflict but to navigate it with empathy, respect, and a deeper understanding of the needs at play.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There may be times when it\u2019s helpful to seek guidance from a mental health professional. To learn more, contact your Assistance Program. Services are free, confidential, and available to you and your family members. You can access them 24\/7 by visiting <a href=\"https:\/\/allonehealth.com\/member-support\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>Member Support<\/strong><\/a>.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Conflict is a natural part of life, whether in personal relationships, at work, or even within ourselves. But not all conflicts are created equal. Amanda Ripley, journalist and author of High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out, distinguishes between two types of conflict: high conflict and good conflict. Understanding the difference&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":14333,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[199],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-whole-health"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Use Conflict to Drive Positive Change\u00a0 - Insights Newsletter<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/allonehealth.com\/insights\/how-to-use-conflict-to-drive-positive-change\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Use Conflict to Drive Positive Change\u00a0 - Insights Newsletter\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Conflict is a natural part of life, whether in personal relationships, at work, or even within ourselves. 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